Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
50% drunk capacity currently
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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