Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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