She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
