you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
