My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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