omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Everything about him screamed your future.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
