omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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