Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
