we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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