I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
