let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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