just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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