is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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