Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
