at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
