Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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