gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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