Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
