Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
