Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
