We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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