I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
