Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
