So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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