My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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