bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
