I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
