You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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