Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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