We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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