This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
