hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
