I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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