need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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