new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
