do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
