they said they heard you say put it in my butt
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
