if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
