im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
