He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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