absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
