So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
