Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
