I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
