so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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