I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How does one acquire holy water?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
