I puked a lego.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize