Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
