I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
