The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
