am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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